When married couples divorce, everything pretty much gets split right down the middle. What once was “ours” soon gets broken down in not-so-neat piles of “his” and “hers.” For the most part, it all makes sense because both people signed a legal document joining them as man and wife and made an oath before the government God. If there are any disputes over what belongs to whom, high-paid lawyers step in to play mediators. But what happens to people that are just dating when they breakup?

No, I don’t mean for your ex girlfriend/boyfriend to get a percentage of your wages when the relationship is over, but there are certain things that couples tend to share that have to get divvied up when they go their separate ways. Depending on how close your ex was to your inner circle, he/she may have forged tight knit relationships with your friends and vice versa. So who gets to keep them in the breakup? I’ve been stuck in between warring couples before and it’s always awkward.

This is most evident when it comes down to group events, where you sometimes have to choose who to invite and who not to, while not showing any favoritism to either. When it’s totally unavoidable, you just have to give a friendly warning to both of them like, “Hey, your ex is gonna be there too?” But in cases where the break up is bad, the friends usually get divvied up into their original piles of “his” and “hers.”

What’s your post-dating protocol? Do you force your friends to take sides in a breakup? Have you ever been the friend stuck in between two bitter exes? As a friend to both, how do you keep the peace and avoid drama? Do you take dates to your favorite restaurant and tell them not to bring anyone else there? Or do you only take “special” people to your favorite restaurant? Have you ever bumped into an ex out on a date at a place y’all used to go? How did it make you feel?